Out of Sight, Never Out of Mind

by | Feb 27, 2006 | Uncategorized | 1 comment

Justin and I made it through our first vacation sans Audrey, but not without me shedding a few tears! Dan, one of Justin’s best friends, got married in St. Pete beach, FL a week ago. We flew down there so Justin could stand up as his best man. This trip had been in the works for over a year, so I had plenty of time to get used to the idea that we would be leaving Audrey for 4 days. Of course, that didn’t make it any easier when the time came! Justin and I had been away from Audrey separately for a night or two, here and there, but this was the first time we were both going to be gone together.

I had gone over the scenario many times in my mind. Logically, I knew that Audrey would be fine. My parents were coming to stay with her, so she would be in her own surroundings with two people who love her more than life, itself. But there’s something about knowing that you are going to be over 1000 miles away from your child that feels pretty much like ripping your heart out of your chest.

Do you know what the worst part was? It wasn’t actually being away from her, it was the anticipation of leaving her and knowing that at some point, she would realize that we weren’t coming back that first night, the second night or the third night. I knew I couldn’t prepare her for our sudden absence and I selfishly worried that she might actually get used to us not being there.

When I dropped Audrey off at Angie’s house that Thursday morning, I snuggled her close and tried to ward off the doubts that were running through my head. The tears welled and my heart broke. I knew I wouldn’t see her for 4 days, but to her this was just another ordinary day. Audrey is such a sensitive little girl and I just couldn’t bring myself to imagine what she would feel when she finally started to realize that something was amiss. I need not have worried.

According to my mom, there were a few moments when Audrey would suddenly looked sad with her wrinkled eyebrows and forehead, but luckily she’s still at that age where diversion is the miracle cure, so they were able to keep her busy and her mind off any worries that might have been lurking in her sweet little head. Nana and Gramps spoiled her rotten and they all had a grand old time! Audrey hadn’t forgotten us and she didn’t hold a grudge. She is still our happy-go-lucky angel, if not a tad bit taller and smarter!

Once I got past the initial drop-off and the anxiety ridden airplane ride (which, by the way, was the WORST turbulence I have ever experienced and I have traveled in ALOT of airplanes), I did manage to enjoy the trip. The wedding was probably the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever attended, Justin gave a moving toast, and we got to spend a lot of time with some of our great friends.

Even with the tears and heartache, I would do it again because it meant so much to Dan and Amy that we were there, but next time I think I’ll avoid the 2nd degree sunburn:(

The moral of this story:
1) Don’t worry yourself silly about things you can’t control
2) Your child will not forget you in 4 days
3) Make sure you don’t miss any spots when you are putting on sunblock or you will be in serious pain and look like a zebra!

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