A few weeks ago Justin and I had a heart to heart conversation about the state of our marriage – something I think every couple should do from time to time. We were in a rut of getting things done side by side, but not really together if you know what I mean. Needless to say, we were both feeling disconnected in various ways.
I recently read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, a must-read in my opinion. Justin and I took the assessment and it turns out that our love languages are very different. Mine is “Words of Affirmation” and his is “Physical Touch.” Suffice it to say, since our love languages are polar opposites, neither of us was getting the type of affirmation we needed to feel really content.
Anyway, after our little conversation, we came up with a few strategies to help us along. Justin no longer leaves at 4:30am to go to the gym to work out. He runs at home in the evening after the girls are in bed and is home until 7am in the morning to help me with the girls and give me time to work out (some days) and actually get a shower to start the day! It has worked wonders. He isn’t as stressed in the evening to get everything done for the next day and I’m much happier when I can wake up on my own terms and start my day off stress-free.
Also, we got rid of the TV…gasp…just the one in the living room. The way our home is designed, you are essentially part of the living room in both the kitchen and dining rooms, so having a television in there often squashed conversation. Plus, we rearranged furniture to make a more cozy, conversational space in the living room and I love it! We still have a TV in the basement, but it’s so great not having it in our main living space.
It’s amazing how a few little changes can really make a difference. It’s a good reminder that the health of our marriage is really the key to our family’s happiness and wellbeing. Next week will mark 6 years that we’ve been married and it gets better each and every year, but it does take hard work!