Today's post is about my Intervention. It was last March, and the ferocious anxiety had returned - exactly one year from the time it started. I was simply surviving, once again, and obsessed with finding a magic cure. The more I researched and the more I tried, the...
Day 23: A Piece of the Puzzle
When dealing with anxiety and depression, it's critical to have a doctor you trust. I was connected to my first psychiatrist through the outpatient therapy program I attended. He was a staff doctor. And after completing the program, I continued to see him because it...
Day 22: Let’s Talk About Meds, Baby
To medicate or not to medicate? That is the question. Before I get started, please read my big, fat, important disclaimer below. I AM NOT A DOCTOR. I AM NOT GIVING MEDICAL ADVICE. NEVER TAKE MEDICATION UNLESS PRESCRIBED BY A DOCTOR YOU TRUST. NEVER GOOGLE A...
Day 17: The Still Small Voice
I close my eyes and breathe. Letting go of the chaos in my mind requires a deep exhale and a shift. It's easy to talk to God, but I'm still learning to listen. When it happens, my heart stills in wonder. It's not an audible voice. More like a deep knowing from within....
Day 16: The Best Place to Scream
There was a point last spring when my therapist told me to quit reading books and sites about anxiety because I was overwhelming myself trying to find the magic cure. As research extraordinaire, I just knew I could find the one thing that would return me to...
Masquerade
If I had to chose the most important lesson I learned in group therapy, it would be the day of the masks. There was a small group of us that morning - only 5 compared to the typical 8-10+. The therapist gave us a choice. We could do a more personal activity because of...
Day 11: The Diagnosis
Outpatient Clinic, the sign read. I took a deep breath, opened the door, and resigned myself to the experience ahead. A day earlier, I had walked into a hospital and asked for help. It was now time for that help to begin. Acute outpatient program is the precise...
Day 6: A Holy Pause
I attended a funeral today. Whispered goodnight to a beautiful spirit. With so many questions, the weary mind wrestles. It's heartache to bury a 45 year old father, husband, son, and brother. This day was a holy pause. A reminder of this fleeting life we lead....