Sitting on the Sideline

by Laura Fleetwood | Jan 9, 2011 | Uncategorized

I was in 6th grade, traveling through our small town in our big gray Oldsmobile with my mom and sister.  The rain was falling from the sky.  I was warm and cozy on the soft, gray seats.  An elderly woman walked on the sidewalk holding her purse tightly to her.  She had no umbrella, her hair was covered neatly with a plastic hood tied beneath her chin.  I don’t think I would even have noticed her if my mom had not started slowing the car.

“What are you doing?” I asked in my obnoxious, know-it-all voice.  “Why are you stopping?”  “We don’t even know her.”  I’m sure I had somewhere very important to be.  “I’m going to see if she needs a ride,” my mom responded.  I was annoyed.  Embarrassed.  What if someone would see?

The woman got in our car, and my mother drove her just a few blocks to where she was headed.  Afterward, not a word was said, and I grudgingly realized how selfish my heart had been.

In many ways, I am still a lot like that 6th grade girl.  I like to sit on the sidelines.  It’s simple and easy to be a spectator there.   To watch the action, but not have to experience the dirt, fatigue, and risk of playing the game.

It’s easier to just drive by the woman in the rain. 

I found myself reflecting on this memory when I found out that one of my favorite bloggers, Edie from Life in Grace, had experienced a personal tragedy just before Christmas.  Edie doesn’t know me.  I have never posted a comment on her blog.  I like sit on the sidelines, remember?  But through her words and photos Edie has made such an impact on my life.

I found a kindred spirit in her that made me hold my breath in anticipation of new words of wisdom and creative inspiration each time I checked her blog.  I  relate to Edie because she is such a paradox, like myself.  She is an intellectual who gave up her medical practice to raise and homeschool her two youngest children.  She devours Harry Potter and C.S. Lewis side-by-side.  She creates a home filled with whimsy, color, unique style, and inspires me to do the same.  She creates with her hands and nurtures with her heart.  She cooks (my favorite fudge ever), she sews (these gifts now grace the kitchens of my friends and family), and she teaches Biblical truth and shares her own trials and heartaches in a way that is refreshingly honest and sincere.  She even tempted me to paint my kitchen cabinets turquoise and wear mismatched clothes.  Almost.

So when another blogger invited Edie’s readers to reach out to her via her blog, my natural reaction was to sit on the sidelines.  However, this is a new year, and I am getting into the game.  Christ commands us to love God and to love others.  These are the greatest commandments.  I believe that even applies to the blogosphere!  The fire may have destroyed her beautiful home, but the Holy Spirit’s fire burns brighter still in her heart.  My prayer are with you and your family, Edie.

How about you?  Have you been sitting on the sidelines instead of reaching out to someone who could use your support and encouragement?  Why not take a step toward them today and see what happens.  You just might be surprised at the result.

Giving Up Control

by Laura Fleetwood | Jan 5, 2011 | Uncategorized

So, I practiced a lesson in giving up control.  I wanted a make a word collage (see above) with some of the key words from Week One.  I could have done it in Photoshop and had complete control over the font, color, and placement of the words.  Instead, I used a random word collage tool called Wordle.  I was surprised at how difficult it was to give up being in control of the final result.  I only clicked randomize about 100 times before I landed on one that would do…I guess I still have some work to do…stay tuned for more on that in Week 2!

In the Light of a New Year

by Laura Fleetwood | Jan 1, 2011 | Uncategorized

I made my plans, did what seemed right, even believed that I was responding to God’s call.  My plans were destined for success, yet here I am one year later with a far different reality than I predicted.

If you were previously a follower of this blog, you noticed my absence from this space in 2010.  It was a busy year filled with many decisions, big and small.  Last year I announced my new business venture called Spark Workshops and was moving forward with my long-made plans to homeschool Audrey, my oldest daughter. One year ago, I was excited about the possibilities that lay ahead.

Now, in the morning light of 2011, I look back on the twist, the turns, and even the very dark moments of 2010 and see that I had important lessons to learn.  Lessons I need to ponder each and every day, so the pull of my human nature does not entice me to repeat them.  These lessons and questions form the basis of my 2011 quest to seek 52 weeks of still.  This year I make no plans, I seek no “success.”  I only open my heart, bare my broken soul, focus my eyes on the new lessons to come, and yearn for the grace to be still…

When You Least Expect It

by Laura Fleetwood | Dec 18, 2009 | Uncategorized

For all of you who are here because of my BIG NEWS Christmas card teaser, the big news is not another Fleetwood baby!  Sorry to disappoint…maybe in 2010!

No, the big news has to do with a dream of mine.  As a child, we’re taught to dream big, and so we do.  We don’t know any better.  The world is a wide open field and we can choose any direction we please.  I see that beautiful picture play out in my girls’ life.  Audrey wants to be a dress designing, artist, veterinarian.  I tell her to go for it.  Anna doesn’t have such lofty dreams, yet.  She would be very content performing on any stage she comes across.  I’m expecting to see her name in lights.

As for my dreams, I’ve had many.  Over the years, I’ve seen God work in my life through the paths I’ve chosen and the ones that have been chosen for me.  Woven through those paths has always been the desire to create something of my own.  Something with vision and purpose.  Something where I can share my passions with others and help them in the process.    Something that serves God, as well as supporting and involving my family.  Something that uses my gifts and offers the flexibility I need to love and nurture my children and husband.   Just those things and more, that’s all!  Over the years, I’ve had many ideas and even had business plans for a few, but life took over and they just did not pan out.  This time, God has been hard at work in a way that is hard to deny.

A few years ago, I was blessed to meet a woman named Erin.  We became friendly acquaintances.  I started watching her children one day a week, and we became friends.  We realized how much we have in common: from parenting styles, educational goals, creative living and much more. Erin is a talented interior stylist among other things, and she is a dreamer.  She sees opportunity and potential where others do not.  That wide open field still exists for her.

One day, not much more than a month ago, she posed a question to me that went something like this.  What if there was a place where women, men, and families could go to learn about all this stuff we always talk about…expanding our creativity, parenting issues, health, wellness, our spiritual walk.  You, know, I know this building in Augusta that would be perfect.  It’s newly remodeled, but hasn’t been used for anything in years.  The view is amazing.  There could be workshops and time for meditation.  People could enjoy the trails and we could provide a wonderful lunch and time for exploring the antique shops.    I stopped and stared.  I blinked.  My mind raced.  I was in.

Thus, Spark Workshops was born and God continued working.  The concept was so similar to a plan I had concocted about 10 years ago, that I already had the bones of a business plan.  Erin was able to get a story about Spark included in an article in the St. Louis Kids Magazine for the January/February issue.  We scrambled to created a logo, finalize a business plan, create a web site, start the process of forming an official partnership and planning our first workshop.  The article in St. Louis Kids magazine will hit thousands of area households at the first of the year, and we hope to fill our first workshop.  Our brains are swimming with the possibilities for workshop themes.  Everything from journaling, creative parenting, creative interior home design, and others.  All with the foundation of growing closer to Christ, to others, and drawing upon our God-given gifts.  It’s so exciting!

If you knew how wonderfully this endeavor fits with both of our gifts, you would be amazed.  Because we’ve been able to do everything using our own skills, experience, talents and contacts, we really haven’t even had any upfront costs.  It’s a wonderful vision and we’re so very excited and grateful.  Without further adieu, I introduce you to:

 

Please visit our website at www.sparkworkshops.com and consider joining us for our first workshop!

Spice Rack Reborn

by Laura Fleetwood | Dec 3, 2009 | Uncategorized

After 8 years of sitting on my counter, this wedding reception spice rack gift was ready for the trash or a new purpose. I considered pitching it when inspiration struck. Those small, glittery, accessories that I can never find when I need them and are forever ending up on the bottom of my art cabinet? They are now neatly displayed in irresistible glass spice jars. Buttons, sequins, pompoms, even small pine cones now have a new home.

What happens when you put such a tempting display at a child’s workspace? Wonderful creations and a terrible mess! At least it wasn’t as bad as the time I left a preschooler and second grader alone with a bottle of red glitter. DO NOT DO THAT. EVER. Trust me.

Saying Goodbye is Never an Easy Thing…

by Laura Fleetwood | Dec 2, 2009 | Uncategorized

But what if you don’t get the chance to say goodbye?

My paternal grandmother (TuTu) passed away this year on May 11. She was 83 years old. I’m grateful that the Lord took her quietly and peacefully, without pain or lengthy illness. We were not aware that she was sick, so we did not get to say a final goodbye. I am comforted that I spoke with her about a week before her death. She told me, just like always, how much she loved me and I did the same to her. Then we said goodbye…until next time… expecting to see each other again soon at the upcoming family weddings. Oh how I miss her.

Our family just had her memorial service this past Friday after Thanksgiving. It was a wonderful celebration of her life. Someday I hope to be able to write her whole story (at least as I know it). I wrote a bit about her in this post (please read it, it is one of my all-time favorites), but there is so much more to share. Her life was filled with joy, pain, love, and heartache. I suppose that makes it no different from our own stories, but I’ve always felt a particular connection to hers.

TuTu was one of the rocks in my life. From the day I was born until the day she left this earth, we had a special bond. As a child, she spoiled me, dried my tears, and I was comforted. As an adult, she shared some tough life lessons, provided guidance, and I was grateful. Even though she lived far away these past years, she was always so interested and engaged in what we were up to. She truly cared.

Even though the path of her life was often rocky, her faith was sure. She worked hard, played hard, and loved mightily. Her Irish temper and stubbornness was, and is, the source of many jokes and stories in our family. She was not always easy to get along with, but her intentions were good. She was saint and sinner all at once, as are all who have Christ within. And now… she rests in the arms of her Savior.

I am not sad for TuTu. She used to love watching the news and being “in the know” about current events. She is smirking right now because she understands the age-old mysteries, and we are left to wonder. She is basking in the presence of the very God who created all that we know. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. Corinthians 13:12

On the way home from our annual Thanksgiving trip this year, Audrey said, “Let’s not talk about Thanksgiving anymore. It makes me sad that it is over.” If only it were that easy, my darling. Grief is hard. Missing someone you love is almost unbearable. What a blessing that we have the hope of seeing them once again. I know you are waiting for us, TuTu. Goodbye…for now…until we meet again…all my love. Laura

If You Let Them, They Will Create

by Laura Fleetwood | Aug 16, 2009 | Uncategorized

With every day that passes, I’m more convinced that we underestimate our children. When you put your faith in them and provide gentle guidance, they are capable of more than I ever dreamed. Audrey and Anna are my inspiration. They think big, create with joy, and hold an open future in front of them. I’m learning to say “yes” when they have ideas, because this is what happens…

The Rainbow Bridge

by Laura Fleetwood | Apr 4, 2009 | Uncategorized

A beautiful message given to my parents at the loss of their beloved dog, Marcus, who gave them 13 years of love, loyalty and laughs. R.I.P. dear Marcus, you are loved…

As a side note. The Rainbow Bridge is also part of the girls’ birth stories. More on that another day, but I found it so very interesting to see it in this beautiful story, as well. Notice that the beloved pets remain on this side of the bridge until crossing over with us in the end. Where do you think the other side of the bridge leads…

There is a bridge connecting heaven and earth. It is called Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors. Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge is a land of meadows, hills and valleys, all of it covered with lush green grass.

When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this lovely land. There is always food and water and warm spring weather. There the old and frail animals are young again. Those who are maimed are made whole once more. They play all day with each other, content and comfortable.

There is only one thing missing. They are not with the special people who loved them on earth. so each day they run and play until the day comes when one suddenly stops playing and looks up! Then the nose twitches. You have been seen and that one suddenly runs from the group.

You take Marcus in your arms and embrace. Your face is kissed again and again and again, and you look once more into the eyes of your trusting pet.

Then, together, you cross the Rainbow Bridge, never again to be separated.

WHERE IS THE STILL????

by Laura Fleetwood | Apr 1, 2009 | Uncategorized

Lest anyone thinks that we are rosey posey all the time around here, I am going to set that record straight. Today I was lucky to see 8pm roll around without LOSING MY MIND, let alone find any stillness in the chaos that was our life.

As any parent knows, there are days when you feel born to raise children and other days that you fail miserably – it’s that doggone yin-yang thing. Today was definitely a fail miserably day. I watch another 4 year old girl (E) and 2 year old boy (R) one day a week and this just happened to be that day. Usually, there is some drama between Audrey and E, but today all four of them were in rare form. My usually mild-mannered Anna pinched R at least 5 times to the point where I’m sure he had bruises. Audrey and Eva were like oil and water mixed together. OMG. I was seriously an inch away from losing it altogether. And everyone knows that an unhappy mama makes unhappy children. It’s a vicious cycle.

I’m not complaining, mind you. I know that I am blessed to have healthy children who are also gifted with a healthy dose of moxie (and I love that, really…well, sometimes I love it). I am just venting here because it helps. On days like this it is REALLY difficult to seek the still, yet that is precisely why I started this blog.

Because the stillness is still there.

Even in the midst of the hair pulling, tattletale telling, pinching and screaming, it is still there. In the very few minutes that we snuggled on the couch before the hair pulling resumed, there is still. As we kneel and look at the first tulip getting ready to bloom outside our front door, there is still. As Justin says the magic words, “why don’t you get out of here,” there is still. As I unexpectedly see one of my all-time favorite books on a library shelf, The Secret Garden, I am transported back to the magic of childhood, and there is still. As I stroke Audrey’s arm while she drifts to dreamland and listen to her whisper that she will always remember her silly time with Daddy and me coming home, there is still.

So, it is there, the stillness. It’s not always easy to find. Sometimes you have to shout, “WHERE IS THE STILL?” It might only be seconds instead of minutes or hours, but rest assured when you seek it, you will find it.

But you must seek it.

Else it will be lost in the shadow of grey days like these. Perhaps grey days are God’s way of reminding us to not take the stillness for granted. The stillness is a gift.

So keep seeking.

Up, Up and Away

by Laura Fleetwood | Mar 24, 2009 | Uncategorized

Have you ever had dream where you were flying? Not a nightmare, but an exhilarating flying dream where soaring in the sky was as natural as walking on the ground? I completely forgot about my childhood flying dreams until a few months ago when reading a book that described how children who feel safe & secure often have vivid, joyful, recurring dreams of flying. I don’t remember the exact age I experienced those dreams (early school years, I think), but I do remember those almost nightly dreams that were so real. I constantly had to tell myself that they were dreams and that I really hadn’t been on amazing flying adventures the night before. How could I have forgotten that feeling of complete freedom, the breeze on my face and the security I felt as I soared through the sky?

Growing up is a painful process in more ways than one. Even now I see how the world (myself included) does everything possible to shred away childhood and force our children to grow up much too soon. Imagination, creativity, and, yes, flying dreams, are replaced by worry, rules and logic. My eyes literally fill with tears at the very thought. That’s why it was so precious to me this morning while outside with the girls when I saw Anna throw her arms out wide in the howling wind, turn to look at me, and say in her sweet voice, “Anna fly up there! Anna fly, mama.” She pointed to the puffy white clouds against the blue sky and tried for several minutes to ride the wind and fly. It never even occurred to her that she couldn’t fly or that it was silly to even try.

The innocence of youth is so precious. Time does not stop, though we beg. I know that one day I really will fly. I will fly to the arms of the One who set the very wheels of time in motion. He has loved me, and you, since time began. Until then, I will hope for my flying dreams to someday return and rejoice as I see my own young daughters take flight.

Memory of a Deer

by Laura Fleetwood | Mar 20, 2009 | Uncategorized

By Audrey Christine

Once I saw a deer
And I didn’t know what his name was
So I left him alone
But one day he came back to me
And I wrote him a letter
But he chewed it up

THE END