Day 23: A Piece of the Puzzle

When dealing with anxiety and depression, it’s critical to have a doctor you trust. I was connected to my first psychiatrist through the outpatient therapy program I attended. He was a staff doctor. And after completing the program, I continued to see him because it was easy. Eventually, though, I began to see a pattern that concerned me. He always said the same things. He asked me what I wanted to do in terms of my medication. And he was quick to give me samples of the latest and greatest drugs.

During this time, I had seasons of feeling good. A week here, a few weeks there. But something would trigger my anxiety, and I would sink once more. My sleep was not good, either, despite several sleep meds. I voiced my concerns to the doc each time, but when I left the office after a visit, I felt let down. I did not begin seeking a new doctor because I was just trying to survive, and the thought of researching a new doctor and then waiting for a new patient appointment wore me out. Thankfully, God knew I needed a change.

It’s truly extraordinary what God does when I trust Him. He ALWAYS provides the missing pieces of the puzzle.

After Christmas last year, a family member shared her son’s struggles with anxiety. We emailed and texted with prayer requests and words of support. One day, she texted me that her son was seeing a new therapist and while discussing family history of anxiety, my name came up. Now, these family members live in a completely different state, far away from me. But after casually mentioning where I lived, this new therapist asked if I was being treated at the St. Louis Behavioral Health Institute? “If not,” she said, “you need to tell her (me) that it is one of the best facilities in the country for treating anxiety-related conditions.”

What? I had never heard of this place and a therapist from another state just happens to mention it to a family member? This was obviously a Holy Spirit tap. I immediately googled. It was literally a dream come true. I once told a therapist that I thought there needed to be a facility like the Grey’s Anatomy offshoot Private Practice where doctors, therapists & psychiatrists all worked together with patients. She laughed and said it sounded nice, but not realistic. Then, a few short months later, I hear secondhand about this place that is exactly what I described! I visited the web site and found a doctor whose profile seemed a great fit for me. When I called the next day I JUST KNEW this was part of  God’s plan. Imagine my stomach-dropping when I was promptly told they were not accepting new patients. None of the psychiatrists. Zippo. Zilch. Nadda. Even the waiting list was full.

I was confused because my hopes were so high. It had all the markings of a “God thing.” Why did God bring this place to my attention then promptly take it away? I brooded in disappointment for a week, then I remembered something the office assistant said on that initial call. She mentioned that they did have a few psychologists with openings. If you don’t know the difference, a psychologist is a doctor that specializes in therapy but can not prescribe medication. A psychiatrist primarily prescribes medication. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Call and make an appointment with one of the therapists, Laura.

So I did. And Dr. K. was an amazing therapist. Not only was she the perfect person to walk me through this next season of my story, but she told me that SHE could put me on the waiting list for a psychiatrist in the office. She said it would likely take 3-4 months, but at least I was on the list. Less than one week later, I received a phone call from the office. “Can you come in tomorrow for a new patient appointment with Dr. M.?” The EXACT doctor I had wanted to see in the beginning. 

“I’ll be there!”

Later I learned that the staff tried to call several people to fill that vacant new patient slot. Nobody answered their calls. Except me.

God only gives us one piece of the puzzle at a time, but He always sees the final masterpiece. Trust Him to provide the next piece you need and watch in awe as He fits it right into place.